Long time no see

I do admit, it's been way too long since I've blogged. I've been super busy recently - Sarah has been keeping us pretty occupied as has Maria, I've had quite a bit of travel over the past month too (and going abroad again Tuesday!) and work hasn't exactly been static recently. Coupled with this, I can honestly say that the novelty of the implant has well and truly worn off. Not a day passes when I am not grateful for this opportunity to live again, and I still do read the occasional article that my google news turns up, but at the end of the day my implant has become a quintessential part of me in the same manner that, say, my spectacles are, or my watch. Something indispensable, but something you don't really notice is there.

I still marvel to this day that I can pick up a phone and call whoever as easy as that, but I don't actively look out for new sounds or try to identify indistinguisable ones with the same gusto that I used to. At the same time this is proof of the fact that this is such a life changing thing. I mean, if it DIDN'T meet my expectations I would think that by now I'd be pretty bitter and upset. I still do emphasise that it's not a party, it's pretty tough actually getting there, but the end result is worth it. It's not perfect hearing but frankly, compared to what I had before, it's manna from heaven.

Facebook

For those addicts of facebook, I'm at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677750851 :)

Yes, I still exist!

Sorry for not posting recently. What with the baby, a busy time at work and other bits and pieces, unfortunately my blog fell by the wayside. This does not mean that I completely forgot about you, dear readers :) Sarah is a month old tomorrow. I thought I'd post about the experience I've had as a new father with an implant.

Maria came before my final plunge to an auditory abyss. But even then, I was still struggling to see what was going on. At one time Maria was struggling - the birth was a tough one, and she was getting distressed. Although I sensed the undercurrents and could see the worried looks on the midwives' faces, what they were saying was lost to me. To say that I was scared stiff is an understatement - I also had to pretend that everything was great to Mandy. Luckily it all went well.

Sarah, on the other hand - could not have been more different. The birth was relatively easy. the baby's heartbeat was reassuringly frantic on the monitor. I was following every word that the midwife was saying. The actual delivery was so smooth I couldn't believe it. After Mandy's epidural, she was feeling pretty tired so she closed her eyes and rested. A few pushes, and we were proud parents for the second time. The range of emotions that came over me were indescribable. I can honestly say that this last year has been absolutely the most varied, frantic, 'high-low' of my life. I think that Sarah's birth was the highlight. Now, I listen to the sounds that my little daughter makes with wonder. She coos, she sighs, she burps, she farts... all those baby sounds that make a small child so adorable, my little mouse does them all - and then some!

My girls

I'm not in the habit of using photos in my blog (as a matter of fact, I haven't got a single one) but I *had* to put this one on, as I've been asked for a photo of my two princesses - here goes - Sarah, aged 8 hours, on the left, Maria, the big sister, on the right. I love them to bits and am so proud of them both.

A child is born

Something unrelated to implants but I really had to mention this. On the 10th September, at 1:38am, Sarah Louise was born. Instantly, I fell in love yet again - I loved her the minute her head popped out and said hi to the world. The amazement I felt seeing my second daughter come out is with me still.

The first birth - Maria, was very tough. Mandy suffered quite a great deal, she couldn't have an epidural anaesthetic as the anaesthesist found it hard to find the 'sweet zone', so to speak. It was a difficult, painful birth for Mandy and it was awful for me just to look at her and try to act calm when in fact I was feeling so helpless about what was going on. So it was with not just a little trepidation that we approached Sarah's birth.

As it is, we needn't have worried. The minute the contractions started getting rough, we were taken into the delivery room and Mandy was given the epidural (worked this time!) She was very calm - then, before we knew it, our little mite was in our hands.

So far, she's been very peaceful. Maria adores her little sister, really taking care of her, stroking her, brushing her hair, singing to her - a proper little mummy. Talking about implants, at least some things have changed now! Firstly, I used to find the process of burping the baby quite stressful with Maria. Since I couldn't actually hear her burp, I had to rely on the sensation of the burp and the smell on her breath (!). Suffice to say burping babies wasn't my greatest skill. Now, at least I can actually hear the burp. I can also marvel at the sounds that babies make - snuffling, mewling, cooing sounds that only babies do. I never realised what these sounds were before, as I don't recall the babies we had in our family prior to my hearing loss. So far, it's been wonderful. I love being a dad of two princesses :)

Minor processor issues

I had some problems with my processor recently. I noticed that

1) When it's pretty hot (we've had a long hot summer in Malta this year!) the volume seems to go down quite substantially. When I tried auxiliary cables the sound was fine so it was related to the microphones. When temperatures went down, I heard a sort of pop and everything went fine. What I also noticed was that this volume reduction seemed to be 'announced' by a rustling sound similar to the one that you move a cloth against a microphone.

2) I also noticed that, at times, when I switch the processor on, it turns itself off again, then when I turn it back on again, it seems to loop between the Sensitivity settings and the volume. Pressing the sensitivity button seems to lead it to 'hanging' as the on switch doesn't work. The only way to reset is to remove the battery compartment and put it in again.

I reported it to the Manchester CI centre and in their typical efficiency they sent me a new controller, even putting a self addressed padded envelope in for me to send my existing one back - apparently the second problem is a known one. I'm currently with another controller and seeing what happens.

Implementation

We went live with a site a week or so ago. It happened to be a public holiday, so I was not at work while the site was brought up. Like all IT implementations, this one was quite frantic - things going wrong at the last minute, small issues back and forth. Phone calls here there and everywhere. Mobile phones ringing, calls back and forth. SMS popping up every few minutes.

Then it dawned on me - these things are actions I couldn't have dreamed of just a short year ago. Now, it's easy enough to take these things for granted, but not then - the idea of making a simple phone call even to my wife was such a distant dream.

Sounds of joy...

My cochlear implant and I have become firm chums, but few things can be considered as more beautiful as interacting with your children. I found communicating with my daughter, Maria, very difficult before I got my implant and she was one of the main driving forces behind me obtaining my implant. Maria is now almost 4 and my implant is now as part of her life as it is my own. When she's annoyed with me (teasing her for instance) she removes the headpiece from me. The other day I shamefully kept my implant plugged in onto the TV when I was listening to a TV programme while I was playing with her. She was pretty angry with me and she cheekily told me to remove the cable right now and almost made me take my processor off too - so it was a matter of negotiation to be allowed to leave my headpiece on!

But.... something even more special happened a few days ago... I guess it's about time to mention to all and sundry that Mandy and I are in the family way again and are expecting our second child in a month or so (yes she IS 8 months pregnant!!!) and... I was so overjoyed to hear our baby's heartbeat - I never heard Maria's so this was especially special for me. The fascinating sound of the frantic bleeps of the heartbeat of that small child yet to be born was something very emotional and particularly moving for me.